Dealing with Difficult Parents

It is a fact that some people are difficult. Some difficult people are parents. If we’re talking about your parents, it may help to learn some new strategies for dealing with them.
Albert Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If we feel our parents are driving us crazy, maybe we need to change our tactics.
I found a great book at the Winnipeg Public Library. The title says it all. Coping with Your Difficult Older Parent: A Guide for Stressed Out Children. The authors, Grace Lebow and Barbara Kane, have over 30 years of social work experience with adult children and their older parents. There are many examples of familiar frustrating situations followed by clear, practical examples of what to say or do.
My favourite part of the book was how using these strategies changed a son’s reaction to a conversation with his mother from “furious, pained, rejected, cut-off, guilty” to “compassion, sympathy, momentarily angry, sad for her”.

I also liked the Difficult Parent Questionnaire.  You can determine if your parent is:
  • slightly difficult 10 or less 
  •  moderately difficult 11-20 
  •  very difficult  21 +

1 comment :

  1. Thank you very much for pointing out the book "Coping with Your Difficult Older Parents". It is the first text that I have encountered that gives practical advice on how to cope with such parents and has made a difference in how I approach dad on various topics. I have persuaded our local library to order the book as I was desperate to get some answers - thanks to you and the book, the desperation is gone - it is a matter of execution.